Creativity unleashed by Sandra Yuen MacKay

Life and art from a unique perspective



Posted by symackay on March 16, 2010 at 9:27 PM

Someone told me that as one ages, especially women, one depends more on one's intuition. When I am worried or concerned about an event, past, present or future, I often run a scenario through my head of a possible alternate reality or outcome. For example, if I had insulted a person, I imagine him speaking to a co-worker about my 'hurtful' behaviour and the co-worker's response. The anxiety lessens, because my fantasy replaces not knowing. My dreamed possibilities can be positive or negative, often depending on my mood.

At work, we are holding annual evaluations, meaning a one-on-one with my boss. I will be asked to assess my own performance, then get feedback. My intuition tells me not to worry. I remember in guidance class in grade 8, we were asked to project our grades for the semester. My school counsellor remarked that I underestimated my grades by a significant margin and to work on improving my view of myself. Perfectionism can make me self-critical or worry about job performance, but it also drives me to do the best I can in a given situation. Maturity breeds confidence.

I've been doing a lot of projecting about the fall and next year and even ten years in the future. Projecting doesn't mean I can predict the future, but I dream about possible changes in my life. Most of my projections are positive, some are sad, but all give me satisfaction that I'll be okay whatever happens.

Someone told me it's important to stay in the moment - to be present in the current situation, be it a conversation, a meeting or dinner out. If I disappear into my own headspace, I lose touch. Intuition and dreaming are fine as long as the experience doesn't take you away from the here and now.

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